April 1 is once again upon us, and you know what that means: It’s time for the videogame industry to tell you lies, sweet little lies. Ideally not malicious untruths, but funny ones: the pranks, gags, spoofs, amusing juxtapositions, and shenanigans that make this day such a joy for people like us who are still expected to faultlessly sift the wheat from the chafe. The wheat in this instance being likable, playful, stuff, and the chafe being loveless marketing bullshit.
As is tradition around here, we’ve collected up some of our favorite April Fools to keep you entertained and help ensure that you don’t fall for any ridiculous guffola. (Hopefully we won’t either.)
Let the 2016 roundup begin!
The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt—Talking With Roach DLC
This one is my favorite so far, because it’s so utterly silly, and also because I would actually pay for that sticker. The look on the face of Konrad Tomaszkiewicz, who seemingly can’t believe that he’s been drafted into this nonsense, is pretty good too.
A Blizzardly Trio
Blizzard puts real effort into its April Fool gags every year, and 2016 is no exception.
StarCraft 2 Balance Manager 2016—Experience an epic and fulfilling career as a Balance Manager, where every minor change you make is endlessly criticized and loved at the same time!
World of Warcraft: Frostdoge Clan—A community of peaceful descendants of the Frostwolf clan, the Frostdoge clan secretly inhabits the snowy expanses of Frostfire Ridge. Its members have transcended their ferocious nature to achieve true enlightenment, aided by the powerful influence of the mysterious—and seemingly worthless—Chunks of Dogestone.
Hearthstone: The MMO—You’d play this. You know you would.
ARMA: Eau de Combat
Another product I would buy if it was actually available, Eau de Combat is “an unapologetic blend of florals, with a touch of soft gunpowder aroma, topped off with fresh notes of wood, mosses, and dirt.” Probably hints of acrid smoke and screaming hot death in there, too. What woman could resist?
League of Legends: Draven Day 2016
Riot’s gone all-out with the newly (and temporarily) rechristened League of Draven, with Draven champ heads for everyone, Draven minions, Draven skins, Draven icons, Draven bundles, and even a Dravenator for your face. Unfortunately, Riot’s gag this year includes neither URF nor NURF, and going by the response in the comments, LoL’ers don’t think that’s very funny at all.
The Humble Indie Font Bundle
Pay what you want for Halfvetica, Sans Sans, and Unicharacter! Or beat the average and get Bike Courier, After Impact, and Times Old Roman, too! Sure, it’s not the funniest gag ever, but it’s also a real thing that’s so far raised over $4100 for charity. That’s worth a mention in my book.
Rocket League Ragequit Bot
You know how it goes: You’re playing Rocket League, you’re down by two goals, and this is total bullshit so screw this you’re going to go find a match where everybody isn’t so obviously CHEATING ALL THE TIME COME ON NOBODY MAKES THAT SHOT WHAT THE F
The Ragequit bot automates that process in three easy steps, so you can dedicate your full attention to screaming obscenities into your headset. (And yes, you can actually download this, although I can’t guarantee that it works.)
World of Warships: Scrub-a-Dub-Dub
“ Jacuzzi Mode,” as it’s called, actually looks like a lot of fun: It’s World of Warships in the bathtub. Each of the four nations on the tech tree has a unique ship, and while XP and credits won’t be awarded in this mode, rewards can be earned by completing special missions. Jacuzzi Mode runs until 4:20 PT (no fooling) on April 11.
I don’t know who’s responsible for this, but I will never be able to look at our EIC in the same way again.
But hey, he seems to like it.
Logitech revives the C7
From boomerang mode to the satisfying the nostalgia of picking dust and crap out of your mouse, the Logitech’s C7 makes a comeback in this Facebook video.
Besides reminding us of the LA Gear fad from the 90’s, this fake item is clearly poking fun at how every gaming peripherals now comes standard with RGB LEDs. The SHUE+extends this rainbow-colored madness to a wearable for your feet.
One mobo to rule them all
Upgrading parts in your computer can be a real pain in the rear, especially if you’re not up to snuff on all the latest requirements, technologies, etc. MSI’s solution is The One, a modular motherboard that will support all CPUs, sockets, memory, storage, and whatever else you might want to throw in there. So if you’re running an old Core 2 Quad system from the late aughts and you want to upgrade to a modern Skylake processor, you’d just swap the CPU socket module and you’re all set! Or what if you have four GPUs occupying all of your PCIe x16 slots? No worries: The One supports “any number of slots!” If only it were that easy….
Warhammer: End Times—Vermintide “Death Wish” difficulty
I honestly can’t tell if this is actually an April Fools’ gag, or if it’s something Fatshark is going to do despite how patently silly it is. It looks like it could be real, and the studio said it will be made free for everyone “soon.” But on April 1, nothing can be taken at face value—especially not that smile at the end of the video.
Outlast 2 will be rated E (Everyone)
Due to the backlash received from parental groups following the release of Outlast and Outlast: Whistleblower, developer Red Barrels has announced that the sequel, Outlast 2, will be rated E for Everyone by the ESRB, with cartoon violence, mild language, and comic mischief. It’s set to come out this fall.
Razer: Project Breadwinner
Razer. A name synonymous with quality gaming accessories. From mice and keyboards to headsets, controllers, and powerful notebook gaming rigs, Razer dominates. And now the company is once again breaking new ground, as it pushes boldly into an all-new frontier: the kitchen.
Razer Toast. You can taste the technology.
Strafe goes free-to-play with Strafe Royale
Pixel Titans announced last month that Strafe won’t be out until next year, and that didn’t go over well with fans. “We’ve received thousands of death threats after announcing our release date of “early 2017″ and our email inboxes are full of messages from fans demanding it now,” the studio wrote. So it buckled down, got to work, quit screwing around with sideline nonsense, and was able to get the game ready for release today—with a few minor changes.
“We know that “Free to Play” may be a turn off to some people, but we call those people idiots who don’t like free stuff,” the devs wrote. “We guarantee that STRAFE® Royale is great or we’ll give your money back.*”
Brace your funny bones for the April Fools’ Day 2016 round-up